Every now and then in life someone comes into it that just changes everything. That person could be someone you’ve know for a long time that you suddenly see in a new light, or someone from seemingly out of nowhere. But regardless of where they came from, they turn your world upside down, but not in a bad way. The job you used to hate seems more tolerable because you know they will be at home for you when you finally clock out. That family issue you are having doesn’t seem as annoying because you know that they will be there for you after it is all said and done.
Finding someone like this is seemly more and more rare in a world like this, but it does happen. However, relationships are so romanticized that they get put up on this pedestal that honestly sets them up for failure. You think that just because you have a good relationship everything will be grand and nothing can phase you anymore. This is far from true, things will still bother you. The only thing that is different is that you have someone to go through it with you.
Life is not going to be all sunshine and rainbows, even if you find this perfect person who makes you feel that way. There are going to be problems, there are going to be things that are going to shake you to your core. Sometimes the things that happen are directly caused by that person who is supposed to bring you joy. And this is just they way life goes.
Far to many people are not taking a relationship seriously anymore. When you make a commitment to someone, you need to follow through with it. You need to give 100% all the time and never take that person for granted. Hell, sometimes when they are giving 10% because they are having issues, you need to give 90% to make up for it. Relationships are give and take, you need to do both for it to be healthy. There needs to be a balance, to far one sided and it will not last.
This gave and take can be simple things like she does the finances that you hate doing and you do the laundry she hates doing. Or big things like you give up your preferred job and take another that is just ok so she can be with her family. You never know what this give and take is going to look like, but it needs to happen.
You can’t be selfish in a relationship, you need to be selfless. You must put that persons needs before your own, you have to care for that person more than you care for yourself. Now this isn’t saying strip naked to give them your clothes on a cold day, but rather give up your jacket for a little so they can warm up. Brave the cold for awhile, but not to the point that it damages you with frostbite. Give and take is a balance, and it is the job of your partner to do the same for you. To not keep that jacket for so long that it harms you, because you should be more important than they are to themselves.
I implore you to not give up on a relationship when things look tough. Challenges and adversity are what make us grow as people and as couples. Do not look at her losing her job like a terrible thing, look at it as an experience to grow closer together while you both sit down and look for jobs for her. Look at it like an experience to learn more in depth about what she likes to do and what she doesn’t. Life is going to have situations that are awful, and the secret is not to turn them all into a positive thing. No one likes to lose a job they liked, but there is nothing you can do about it. You can’t control exactly what happens to you in life, but you can control how you react to it. And when she comes home crying because she lost her job, the way you react is critical. She is overwhelmed from her day, days like this is where you need to give more than you take. Because when you started seeing each other, you swore you would be there for that person. For better, or worse.